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A Moment in My Life History
By Enma Vasquez
The only medium of the media that I can relate to this experience is newspapers. My grandma was placed in two hospitals when she was sick. I remember reading in the paper about how badly they treated the patients in those hospitals. We wanted to take my grandma out of there but we had a lot of financial problems that wouldn't allow us to, so we went to see her almost every day.
The whole thing started when my grandmother got admitted to the hospital on April 29th , 1998. We though she'd be able to go home, but we were wrong. After a while, things started to get worse. My grandma said she was having seizures. When my younger sister would go to see her, she wouldn't remember who she was. Then her heart got bad and she was getting really sick. My family and I went to the hospital all the time. During this time, I was under so much stress that I began to get sick. I got headaches all the time, I got sick with bronchitis, and after a while I developed an ulcer. I felt completely run down and lifeless. I was emotionally drained almost everyday.
One vivid memory I have is going to the hospital and looking at my grandmother's face. It began to change over time. At fist she was happy to see us when we came to visit, and then after a while, she began to look more and more run down.
My grandma passed away on November 16th 1998. Since then my outlook on many things has changed. One major change was my opinion of the medical system. I hated doctors after that and I still do. I don't have much faith in the medical system at all. I also avoid hospitals as much as possible. When I go into a hospital, I automatically get a sick feeling in my stomach. My friend recently had a baby, and I didn't even enjoy going to the hospital for that. They make me extremely nervous. Another change this brought about was my faith in God. I questioned why he would let this happen to such a wonderful person, and why this was happening to my family. I pretty much lost faith after a while.
Other things that happened to me during this time were that I hated the holidays after this happened, they have never been the same for me. I also got into two car accidents right before she passed, and I just mentally shut down completely.
I still struggle with it constantly. I know the pain will never go away, but maybe one day I'll get a little piece of mind. I don't think anything will ever be quite as life changing as that experience was. I know my grandma is my guardian angel now, and I know that she'll always be in my heart.